


Saccharine

by VaterUnser



Category: OFF (Game)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-08-18
Updated: 2013-08-18
Packaged: 2017-12-23 23:16:06
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 929
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/932229
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/VaterUnser/pseuds/VaterUnser
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Zacharie's reflection on Sucre's spiral to insanity.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Saccharine

You love Sugar. She is your one and only. You feel bad for Sugar. There is nothing you can do for her. You keep her locked away in an old industrial-sized chimney. It is the best for her, and you know that, but you can’t help but feel bad for her. 

 

You tell her you love her, and she usually mumbles something in return. You pretend it’s her returning your feelings, but you really know better. Her brain is too sticky and syrupy for feelings anymore. The saccharine did this to her. It wasn’t you. You feel guilty regardless, and you feel like you drove her to do this to herself. It makes her calm. You suppose that’s okay, but it’s not really a good alternative, even if she was a bit of a destructive spirit.

 

“Zacharie,” she sings to you. You thumb away the little crystals around her black lips. You smile, but you want to frown. You raise a brow at her. You’ve learned to decipher her mindless babbling over the months. 

 

You watch her sit next to a pile of crystal saccharine, with her legs crossed under her. You admire her asymmetrical hair, and how you miss to run your fingers through it. You sigh deeply. The love of your life has been boiled down into a cup of sweet liquid, with a useless shell of a body. You regret so many things, but nothing as much as not making love to your dear Sugar. You wanted to wait until she could come out of hiding in the chimney. But she found the saccharine. You suppose it is your fault that this happened to Sugar. You tried to keep her out of trouble in the chimney, but you didn’t realise it used to belong to a saccharine plantation.

 

“Yes, my love?” You smile at her, and she smiles back. At least she’s smiling, albeit a permanent feature on her face, now. You watch her rock back and forth, with the long end of a spoon hanging from her crescent-shaped mouth. She doesn’t often respond to you. She just says your name. She lifts her chin to take in her surroundings. You join her in the gazing.

 

The chimney is dark and the walls are caked with ash. The only light comes from ten stories above, through the small opening in the mouth of the smoke stack. It barely lights up the inside of the chimney, and the walls are black with seared saccharine. It reeks of gasoline and torched crystal sweetener. You turn your gaze back to Sugar.   
You wonder what it would be like, had this catastrophe not happened. You know she wouldn’t be locked away, with only piles of saccharine to keep her company. She would still be your lover, your companion. Not some brain-dead girl with an addictive sweet tooth. 

 

That will never happen, you tell yourself. What’s done is done, and this is the end. You have accepted Sugar’s fate for her, since she no longer knows any better. Would euthanasia be acceptable? No, you would feel bad. You can’t let her go. You would miss her too much; she wouldn’t be around for you to hold, or to pet her perfect porcelain skin. You worry she would hate you for killing her. You’re not that kind of person. You wouldn’t be the kind of person to decide someone else’s fate, especially not someone you have such strong, futile feelings for. You know that Sugar is gone, but you can’t help but hold onto the empty husk that remains in her wake. You’re a shallow person. Even if it means holding onto the physical memory of your Sugar, you’re going to do it. You loathe yourself for it. You don’t know if she’s miserable, or rather, if that body that was once Sugar, is miserable. 

 

You hold the husk in your arms, and stroke the straw-like hair that was once so soft and silky. You wish for her to return to you, your dear Sugar. You want to take her home and nurse her back to health again, but you did this to her in the first place. You are the kind of person to dictate what happens to someone else’s life. You decided Sugar’s fate when you locked her away in the chimney for safe keeping, and now you keep her locked in from the rest of the world for its own good. Your conscious keeps telling you it’s for the best, only because you force it to. You want to be told that what you did was right, and just. But how can you decide that, when the person you... you violated knows no different than the saccharine she shovels into her mouth? You deserve this; you deserve every ounce of this guilt for what you did to her. You vowed to protect her, and you led her right to her ultimate demise. You’re so sorry, Sugar. It should have been you; you should have died in her stead. 

 

You’re going to leave. You’re going to leave, because it’s your only means of escape from guilt. You’ll just let time take its course with her, so you don’t have to do anything. That’s right. You’re going to just let her sit in here and rot to death while you try your very best to forget about her. You’re such a brilliant thinker, Zacharie. You say your goodbyes to Sugar, and promise her you’ll be back. You know so much better. You’re the kind of person to just leave. You coward.


End file.
